One Dream Away from Paradise (Chasing The Carrot)

I used to spend a great deal of my life chasing a dangling carrot that I was sure would bring me all the joy and happiness I wished for. I would have sworn to every god in heaven that I was but an inch or two from realizing every desire within me...when in reality I was a million miles away from that friggin' carrot. Regardless of that elusive carrot, I have been lucky...even blessed at times, and I would not trade the experiences and memories of my life with anyone on earth, past or present. The problem was that I was young and had a lot to learn and every success made me want more than what I had. I guess you could say I was a greedy little runt, but back then I knew nothing about the Tao or Wu Wei and all that other stuff. Please allow me to take a little stroll down memory lane.

By the age of 20 I was a seasoned and professional gambler. Every day I was working very hard at handicapping sporting events and I was talking and exchanging information with some of the biggest gamblers in America. Most were two, three, and four times my age but they all gave me their respect and I gave them mine. I took my work very seriously and as I look back, it was this phase of my life that allowed me to understand the numerical aspects of Chinese metaphysics and allowed me to penetrate it at a deep level. I talk about this in my soon to be published book. Anyways, in my 20's I was hopping around the gambling community and traversing back and forth to Las Vegas. I had it made as a kid and was living a life that all my buddies dreamed about. I was always able to make friends with the 'big-shots'...I don't even know how but I was able to talk with people that others couldn't get close to. A lot of people became jealous and there have been some rather 'hairy' situations in my youth, but I survived unscathed and healthy. Some of the stories seemed to come straight from a Damon Runyon book. I used to spend a lot of time at the horse track and the poker tables, and played a lot of Blackjack. It was the numerical aspect that I was attracted to and I knew that numbers revealed the real truth of the world and I understand them even more intimately today. I was absolutely consumed with numbers and what they could reveal to one who took the time to understand them. I became so proficient at understanding numbers that many gamblers approached me to work for them. I have always been independent and I would always turn them down because I didn't want to be put in a position of responsibility. Some of these guys were making six figure wagers and even though I wouldn't be accountable for any loses, I just didn't feel comfortable about it, so I would humbly turn them down and kept mostly to myself.

Then when I was 23 years old He walked into my life. Vince was definitely a high-roller as they called them. He won and lost more money in a day than most people make in five years. At one time he was a legend and was known in gambling circles everywhere. I used to read about him in the newspapers as a kid and saw him on t.v. He was the "Cream Of The Crop". One of my wishes was to one day meet him in person. He eventually heard about me through the other gamblers in town. I will never in my life forget the night he called and asked if I would like to meet him for dinner at a local restaurant. At dinner he invited me to his house and at that point I felt like I hit the lottery. I was on cloud nine and to be honest, I remained on that cloud for the next two and a half decades until the day he passed away. We became the best and closest of friends and he filled a huge gap that was missing in my life. He actually filled many gaps, but the specific one I'm talking about is the missing father gap. I lost my dad when I was 15 and he was as close as a father to me, and many times...even closer. He was 20 years older than me but we saw things on the same level and were not hindered by generation gaps ... or whatever they call them. Some of the best days of my life were the ones spent on lazy evenings on his patio talking about anything and everything. Although he was not involved in metaphysics per se, Vince was definitely a Master, there was never any doubt in my mind about that. I had the utmost loyalty and respect for him. When I think of him these days, I still roam in the cloud-nine regions. He has had a tremendous amount of influence in my life and there isn't any way to describe how much I miss him. These days I only see him in dreams and I keep detailed descriptions of them in my journal and one day I will put all the dream pieces together to figure out the messages he's sending, because he is definitely trying to convey something. Vince is the only person on this planet who has never judged me in any way. He has taken and accepted me for who I truly am and has helped me any time I ever asked whether he felt I was right, wrong, or indifferent. He never asked "why"...he never asked "how come'...he never wanted an explanation, if I needed help he would help, it was as simple as that. I was never once denied and I never denied him. If that ain't love...I don't know what is.

Now I'm in my late 40's and I see life and reality much different than before. I am completely out of the gambling business. Today I am on a different path. I am no longer delusioned by the fallacies of gods, demons, heavens, and hells. I no longer believe that paradise is a short dream away. I now know that paradise is anywhere and everywhere I want it to be and I can experience it whenever I wish. I don't have to chase anymore and I don't have to worry about an unreachable or unattainable carrot. I am now interested in the messages of Fu Xi and Lao Zi rather than Amarillo Slim and Jimmy The Greek. My, how the times have changed. I spend my time these days in solitude and meditation and get a great deal of joy working on charts and studying Chinese metaphysics at the deepest level I can handle. My social ambition has all but vanished and I am content with a simple life. I haven't been on a plane or to Las Vegas in 20 years, I haven't had a formal dinner in a restaurant in over 10 years, and I haven't watched television or read a newspaper since 1996. I like to walk in parks, meditate, and study. It has all been a drastic change and the people who knew me in my youth would probably not believe these words...but then, I have been misunderstood most of my life. Luckily I don't have to worry about that because I stopped explaining myself and my views a long time ago. The transition from gambling to Chinese metaphysics was certainly my destiny and I now understand the intricate meanings very well...and as I mentioned earlier I wrote about this in my book, "The Luo Shu Oracle". I have met as many people in the field of metaphysics as I did in the field of gambling as a youth. I owe a debt of gratitude to every person I have met because if not for all of them, my life would be that much less complete. I would like to thank all my friends, acquaintances, associates, comrades, and not so friendly folks who have wandered into my life. I don't have any enemies, but if anyone believes they are my enemy, I would also like to thank you too for playing a role in my life.

I feel I have much to be thankful for. Most of all, I would like to thank Kelly...that incredibly beautiful soul who has allowed me to deeply understand how silly I was and how much time I wasted in chasing that carrot. Everyone has their own story or destiny to contemplate and understand and I am no different. Some do it through symbols, others through dreams, omens, or meditations. I see one of the symbols in my life as a baton and it is an important symbol. In relay races, batons are passed from one runner to the other to transform the race into a smooth flow. A great transformation period in my life was the year that Vince passed away and Kelly appeared. It was as if Vince passed the baton to Kelly in a smooth transition...not a single step was missed. I know this to be true because I see both their fingerprints on the baton of my life. I understand the deeper implications involved. Vince left the world less than 2 months after Kelly entered my life. There is no doubt that Vince waited for her to appear before he said goodbye. He always looked after me and he wanted to make sure I was ok before he left. I am certain of this through dreams and even through physical circumstances. Ironically, Vince and Kelly lived in the same neighborhood and only one street separated them, though they never knew of each other. On the precise day I met Kelly, Vince passed away the exact number of days as the first half of her address (representing the first part of my life). Also, when I add the sum of the digits in her address it is the exact number of years I was on earth when I met Vince. In addition, the address to the location where I resided when Kelly first knocked on my door is also the same number of days it took for Vince to leave the physical world from the exact moment of the knock. There is much more to it, but my point is that it is all so obvious and it is all contained in the numerical aspects of my perceptions. It's all in the numbers. I have always believed that anything can be uncovered or discovered through numbers...from the simple to the mystical. My greatest wish was for Vince and Kelly, the two great giants in my life to have met, but that didn't happen in the tangible realm. But I don't worry too much about that because I am a dreamer and a dreamer can make anything happen. Shao Yung spoke much about initiation and completion, the two main aspects in any form or reality. Kelly completed what Vince initiated...Shao Yung would be proud. Thank you Vince...Thank you Kelly I owe you both more than you will ever know.

Update on the Luo Shu Oracle

I wanted to write an update to let you know the status on my book "The Luo Shu Oracle : Penetrating The Mysteries Of 9 Ki Divination". The book is complete and is at the stage of editing. The process is taking longer than I anticipated but I am making sure that everything will be done in the best possible manner. I don't want to cut any corners. The book will consist of approximately 400 pages depending if I self-publish it (more pages) or have someone else publish it (less pages). It contains many charts, tables, and diagrams and a lot of information that has never before been revealed to the public. I can absolutely assure you that it is the most comprehensive book ever written on the subject in any language. You will never have to worry about this book becoming out-of-date because the principles explained in it are as ageless and timeless as the Tao. This book will be just as relevant today as it will be 500 years from now. Only a few people have seen portions of the book and I have been told that from what they have seen, it will be an extremely valuable contribution to the field. I have spent a great deal of time in putting it together. I have turned down an offer from the first publisher I spoke with because I didn't feel I was getting properly compensated for the amount of time, effort, and energy that went into writing it. I am not in a desperate position to publish and will self-publish myself if I don't receive what I believe to be a fair contract. The Luo Shu Oracle will be available in both hardback and paperback and I may negotiate a deal to sell it electronically, although I am not sure of this last option. I will keep you updated on any new developments.

Shao Yung : The Man And The Chart

Shao Yung (1011-1077) was one of the most influential and wisest men in the annals of Chinese history. This great thinker went through many hardships throughout his life and he writes about many of them in his poetry. He eventually gathered his poems and put them together in a book titled "Striking The Earth Collection". This book reads like a diary in the day to day trials and tribulations of his life. He was well respected by all and his peers considered him a true master. His thoughts, ideas, and theories still have an influence on many people to this very day. His I Ching studies were unparalleled and his studies involved the 'Image and Number Learning' school of thought. In other words, he put forth much more effort in reading the symbols, numbers, and images of the I Ching rather than the text. Some, like Chu Hsi were not pleased with Shao Yung's decision and came down on him rather harshly because they viewed his study as fortune telling and divination and they considered this as straying from true Confucian thought. In addition, Shao never served a government position and refused to take the government exams on more than one occasion, and in fact never had a job in his life. In Chu Hsi's eyes this was a double no-no since a true Confucian would serve their fellow man and take on the responsibilities necessary to fulfill their social duties, which Shao Yung neglected. Rather than getting deeply involved in the social order, Shao spent all his time deeply immersed in his I Ching studies and spent his entire life devoted to his studies. He married rather late in life and had two children (both boys) and though they didn't accumulate the deep knowledge of I Ching studies as their father, the elder one named Shao Po Wen did become fairly well known and even edited and published some of his father's work.

The amazing thing about Shao Yung was that he took the 8 trigrams of the Early Heaven sequence and turned it into a life-long philosophy. His whole learning was based on the 8 trigrams and he perceived any aspect of reality through the understanding of those 8 trigrams. Many have said that he could predict the rise and fall of anything in the phenomenal world and could give the exact year, month, day, and hour of any person's death. All this was done with the use of the 8 trigrams which is basically 8 qualities or forms of energy. Incredibly, Shao extended the 8 trigrams over a trillion-fold. That is not a misprint, and if you ever get a chance to look at some of his work you will see numbers derived from the trigrams that carry well over 30 digits. His work is too lengthy to get into here but I did post a picture of the Early Heaven Chart (top right) that he used as the prototype for understanding the realities of the phenomenal world. It is difficult to fathom that a small chart such as this could reveal all the secrets and mysteries of the world...that it could give you the answer to any question your mind is concerned with. It can be said that the Early Heaven IS the world and everything in it. If you carry the Early Heaven chart in your pocket you are carrying the universe in your pocket. If you don't believe me, then ask Shao Yung.

Viewing Nature

As I awoke this morning I lazily starred out the window at the lovely flakes of snow cascading down from the heavens and covering the earth like a beautiful white blanket. I had nothing in particular on my mind, I just felt privileged to be able to witness the stunning beauty of nature. As I walked into the den to write this post I non-chalantly look out the window to observe the visitors. At this very moment this is what I see. Two turkeys are nibbling on some corn grain by the bird feeder as they are cautiously approached by four deer. The turkey and deer are looking at each other and decide to share the grain. A fifth deer approaches and and seems to be dancing gracefully with one of the other deer while the others keep nibbling. The turkeys have their fill and decide to wander off. A cardinal just lands as I speak and joins the deer for a morning bite while about a dozen other birds and two squirrels join in the festivities. About another dozen singing and chirping birds sit comfortably on branches, trees, and the bird-house viewing the ceremony while others are moving about on the ground while the flakes keep lightly falling. Everyone is content, and I know this even though I am not a turkey, deer, bird, or squirrel...just as Chuang Tzu knew over 2,000 years ago that the fish in the river were happy even though Chuang Tzu was not a fish. And now two eagles land in the distance by the pond. Wow !!! What an absolutely beautiful sight that could not have been scripted any more elegant than how it has just naturally occurred before my very eyes. What a true and divine gift I have just received from heaven on this special morning. Hmmm, it seems like a perfectly orchestrated symphony, but deep down I know that nothing is orchestrated...it is natural, and I suppose that is why it is so truly exceptional. The creatures are expressing themselves with effortless eloquent beauty. I can't help but wonder what life would be like if humans expressed themselves in the same effortless manner as my morning visitors. And like John Lennon, " I may be a dreamer, but I'm not the only one". The divine gifts we receive from the Tao surround us at all times but we seem to miss them because we are not aware. All we need to do is to relax and silently observe and we would be amazed and astounded at the remarkable dialog we can experience with nature. This is what I believe to be true and ultimate liberation. It truly is wonderful to be alive.