Freedom's just another word
for nothin' left to lose.
- Janice Joplin
As I awoke this morning I lay in bed pondering on the metaphysical side of things and wondered how free we truly are. We all seem to be bonded by knots so tight that our circulation is in jeopardy and we are either strangling ourselves or allowing others to strangle us. This certainly seems to be the case both collectively as a species and independently as individuals. As I lay there, I remembered the early days of my studies and what a long, long road it has been. I realized all the sacrifices I have made to obtain the metaphysical understanding I have always longed for. I certainly believe the sacrifices and trades were worth it, as my perception of things have dramatically changed and evolved. Things have not always been easy though. I have always hungered for various types of knowledge and this hunger ran extremely deep. I was/am insatiable in my searches and learning and I wonder if my hunger will ever be satisfied. I admit that I am a glutton for metaphysical knowledge. If an education was certain and static, things would be much easier. For example learning to become a doctor, lawyer, engineer, brain surgeon, or rocket scientist would be fairly easy because the education process is mechanical. Learning metaphysics however is a great deal intuitive and therefore the information is rarely static. That's one reason why hospitals, courtrooms, and laboratories can function or operate on computer techniques. Metaphysics has little use or value for computers. This may seem strange as I write this on a computer, but deep down I know that computers can give but a tiny glimpse of the realities of metaphysics. Sooner or later, if you haven't realized it already, you will start to see that computers are just a basic tool or instrument that has very little value in relation to divination.
I believe that the best way to penetrate the ancient and even modern ideas of astrology, divination, and other techniques is through freedom of thought and not computers, books, teachers, etc. If you remain in metaphysics long enough, there will come a time in your studies when you will realize that you have learned more in the first 6 months than you have in the last 10 years of your work. In other words, the more you study the less you seem to know. The reason is because in the very beginning of your studies your brain is a clean slate and whatever you take in is new and has not before been encountered. This gives you great confidence and even over-confidence. There is nothing to rebuttal what your mind accepts. This can be dangerous because you start to see yourself as having a power beyond the ordinary. Then...as your studies advance into years or decades you begin to absorb information from myriad sources and the information is not agreed upon because everyone has differing opinions. Then you have to battle the contradictions and this can be quite taxing I can assure you. As you try to grow in your studies you begin to see that all the 'experts' are giving you different information and you become totally confused and you start wondering if you should just give up and call it quits. This is called "growing pains" and every successful and accomplished diviner experiences it. You feel trapped because of the possibility that you have been going about it the wrong way for all those years. If you quit...you have wasted all that time, and if you go on....you will be wasting more time if you don't learn properly. You begin to lose faith in all the 'experts' you once believed were infallible. Many have suffered deep depression over this and other related issues, such as Richard Wilhelm to name just one. It is a bit like discovering after many years that your parents are not truly your parents.
I have learned that to overcome the situation you have to eventually believe in yourself. It isn't easy because we are all programed to believe that others know better and more than us...especially if they have a "master", "guru", or "teacher" title. This is the furthest thing from the truth and if you begin to put your faith and energy in others, you will simultaneously be taking faith and energy away from yourself. You strengthen them and weaken you.......and this is absolutely no good. There is nothing wrong with learning from someone at the early stages of your education, but you will eventually be forced to discover that you cannot stay at that level if you are to advance. You will soon discover that the ones you once thought were mighty dragons have turned into paper dolls. Persevere...don't despair, as this is your greatest opportunity. This is when you yourself can take matters into your own hands and create your own successes. Successes that are uniquely yours and not tainted by anyone else. It is something beyond description when you begin to make progress on your own without having to rely on masters, gurus, and other ignorant titles people bestow on themselves. You will then experience true freedom and every moment is a blissful adventure. Then you don't need masters talking to you because nature becomes your teacher and will speak to you any time, night or day, always giving you signs and assisting you along in your discoveries. This is the truest joy your heart can experience.
